I have asked Divine for an answer in my disability case. Instead, I have heard nothing. I also wished my spouse could go out with me at night. Unfortunately, that is not possible and may not be in the future due to a lupus flare.
I constantly check my privilege by reminding myself to be thankful that I have the privilege of being able to walk when I go places. I can cut through the community garden and take a shortcut because I don’t have to worry about a mobility device getting stuck on ground or not being able to fit on the narrow path. When I volunteer at the animal shelter, I have to put the stools back once I am done using them or else someone with a wheelchair or a stroller may not be able to get by. At those times, my carelessness and privilege can hurt others.
Because I am typing on a computer in a heated home, I am privileged. I have food, free water, clothing, and shelter. I also have a spouse who loves me very much and who I love very much. I have no right to ask for anything. I am already rich because I have the privilege of being able to go outside during the daytime without being burned by sunlight. My spouse does not have this luxury due to lupus, which causes extreme photosensitivity.
My watchwords are patience, humility, contentment, and gratitude. These are the four virtues I must keep in mind at all times. When I cut myself shaving, I complained about the blood running down my leg. Then I checked myself and said, “I am thankful for having blood in my body.”
I have to check, check, check myself all day long. It can be exhausting, but it is something I choose to do to keep a positive mental attitude. I am helpless to fix my spouse’s illness, but I have the privilege of making things easier by making medical appointments, running errands, cooking, and cleaning. That is my True Will and that is all I need.